Tuesday, February 3, 2009
now that i've been with LAM for almost 3-4 months
suddenly felt i don't wanna go back to TS-admin anymore
dunno why. maybe cos i think i've found my place here
am closer to the people here
i dun think i wanna go back
strange huh?
when just a couple of months back, i would wanna go back to capital square to be with my 姐妹
but then now... i seriously don't want to
and it feels kinda strange to find myself in this sort of situation
i hope... i won't have to go back anymore
and now, i would give anything, anything to stay at this place
-
today is a pretty strange day
i had this strong, weird, psychic kinda feeling
you know, the sort that tells you things happening now will somehow affect your actions in the future
a foreboding feeling that stuff that happens now will allow you to predict the outcome of the future
today's discussion with the 姐妹淘 centered upon the topic of marriage and HDB flats
and they were discussing stuff like how much it would cost for ROM and the wedding banquet and the customary ceremony and the down-payment for built-to-order HDB flats and resale flats
you know, adult-dish stuff like loans, payment of furniture and how to inspect renovation works and stuff
it makes me wonder in disbelief how fast we have all grown up, how we have all come to this phase/stage in our lives of thinking like and becoming a proper adult
i was really stunned, not because i hadn't realized that i was already 23, but because of the realization of how childish i felt when in discussion of these topics
i felt like a kid who hasn't grown up and who doesn't wanna grow up
i just hadn't envisioned myself that far in the future
i feel strangely happy and content in my own world, just enjoying myself, without care for the much realistic mundane concerns of the world that exists around me
not that i'm unrealistic and impractical, because i do take my job seriously and i do have some sort of expectations for myself with regards to my career path
maybe cos i am lazy in nature, i refuse to have to bother about whatever loans i haven't yet paid
or maybe the fact that i have almost nil savings
and if i do wanna marry and have a HDB flat, it would probably take me like 20 years before i can actually save just enough to get married and own my own flat
of cos discounting the possibility that if i ever find myself a rich husband, i would have the luxury of having my money all for myself
sadly, most of us slog our entire lives just so we could live in the comfort of (only) a decent HDB flat/condo and scrape through car loans and an occasional short holiday trip
and you wonder why most of us people are deemed so darned materialistic and are barely surviving in this rat race, living in the city
what can i say about the standard of living?
i hold fairly practical views when it comes to relationships and marriage
after our discussion, it also just further confirms my theory that marriage cannot survive on just love and romance alone
i reckon marriage can only survive primarily on money and then love and concern for each other
call me materialistic, but with all the bills and loans one has to keep up with, can (only) love for each other allow you to survive?
one's partner doesn't have to be rich, but he has to have the determination and drive to contribute to a fairly decent standard of living for the family
i dunno what to make out of that situation
wish you all the best.
PAWED AT 12:48 AM
